("Dumber Than Advertised" was the title of a journal I kept specifically for the purpose of documenting my daily existence while working at the gas station in my mid-20s. Without it, I'm pretty sure my head would have exploded long ago. Over the years "Dumber Than Advertised" was expanded to include other jobs aside from retail.)
I used to watch The Animaniacs when they were first on the air and, like most sick individuals, I got a huge kick out of the show. I forget the context of the episode, but Yakko remarked of someone that they were "dumber than advertised". I thought that was great, and have used that phrase to describe a myriad of individuals over the years since that episode aired; considering that most of my paying experience as a productive member of adult society has involved retail, I use that phrase quite a bit. This journal will be a record of the dumb crap that's been said or has happened while on the job. Here are a few gems from last night:
1) A regular customer came in and said, "I need to use your ladies' room. Where is it this time?" I replied that the toilets were located in the same place they had been every other time she'd used them. This revelation seemed to astound her.
2) Another customer made a small purchase which totaled, after tax, to $.27. It is worth noting that I make it a point to speak up, enunciate, and to avoid using the regional dialect:
"Okay, twenty-seven."
"Uh . . . whuh?"
"Twenty-seven cents, please."
"Twenny-somethin'?"
"Well, twenty-seven is twenty-something, yes."
3) I'm not the only one who deals with folks who are a few clowns shy of a circus. One co-worker related to me the experience of working with yet a third co-worker who, in a fit of frustration, one day put up hand-made signs on the gas pumps which read, "If you don't know what pump you're on, neither do we." She still had to wrangle with customers who could not be bothered to find the large, neon yellow sticker at head-level with the big, black digits printed on them.
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